Falling Up
by enucleate.muse
Summary: Ludwig had a mission to complete and not even Ukraine would stand between him and his goals. Yet regret never looked more beautiful, and guilt never felt so good. *giftfic*
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings**: **This tale is rated M due to issues of racism (tale is written from Nazi!Germany perspective). **

**Disclaimer:** Clearly this does not belong to me. Nor should this tale be regarded as historically accurate. This is Hetalia universe after all…  
**Author's Notes: **This tale was written for Hoshira/Doitsu's Storyteller. I know this isn't exactly a fluffy tale and it lacks pr0n but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. *blushes*

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**I**

"Just look at those-" one of Germany's officers said with a knowing look as they watched Ukraine approach.

"She's making some man very happy-or men for that matter," the captain added with a chuckle and a wolfish grin. Germany, better known to his children as Ludwig, simply nodded as he watched the young beauty known to him as Ukraine approach holding a basket filled with fresh breads and milk.

The captain was right; she had a face of an angel and a body of Venus. Naivety and innocence radiated in her shy smile, while blue eyes filled with hope sought to warm his steely gaze.

"Welcome to my home-" Ukraine began in greeting. Her attempts at his native tongue were atrocious, though sincere. With a shy smile, she offered the basket as she bowed in greeting. Austria would have sniffed in disgust had he been witness to it. Germany simply raised a brow as he politely accepted the gift. Gloved hands brushed against calloused fingers as around them their people watched on, oblivious to the weight of their simple exchange.

Only Ludwig knew the full truth behind the brief interaction.

She said her mortal name was Katyusha but her title meant little to him. Her eyes caught his attention. Her eyes reflected the same blind trust he carried whenever he spoke to or of his boss. Ukraine truly believed he was here to protect her children, that Germany was there to save them from the suffering they had endured at the hands of her brother's boss for so long.

"You may call me Ludwig," he coolly answered. A smile lit up her petite features as her eyes shone with joy.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Mr. Ludwig."

He would enjoy breaking her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings: This tale is rated M due to issues of racism, as the tale is written from Nazi!Germany perspective.**

**Be noted I neither support nor condone the views expressed by the characters in this tale.**

**Disclaimer:** Clearly this does not belong to me. Nor should this tale be regarded as historically accurate. This is Hetalia universe after all…

**Author's Notes:** This tale was written for Hoshira/Doitsu's Storyteller.

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**II**

Ukraine was nothing like he had imagined. She was emotional, irrational and at times down right awkward. She wept over the strangest things, found joy in the simplest of matters and was passionate about everything he found mundane.

Any other country would have fought and sacrificed their children to protect their home, anything to maintain their identity, as well as their freedom. Yet there was no resistance found in Ukraine's presence, only blind acceptance and an eagerness to please her new protectors. The more Ludwig tried to understand his new captive the more she baffled him.

"They say we're the bread basket of the motherland," she admitted with a smile as she guided the German to the fields that decorated her land. As far as Germany's eyes could see, there was nothing but crops of wheat. Prussia once referred to Ukraine's land as an Ocean of Wheat, Ludwig now understood why.

"Enough to feed a country," he murmured to himself. Calloused hands slipped into his leather gloved fingers. Startled by the gesture Germany glanced back to the petite woman expecting an explanation or at least some well-chosen words.

With a sincere smile and a gentle squeeze of his hand, the young nation failed to answer his confusion. Her secrets were her own and Germany did not know what to make of it.

Ukraine was either extremely clever or she was an even greater fool than he had initially predicted.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warnings**: **This tale is rated M due to issues of racism (tale is written from Nazi!Germany perspective). I neither support nor condone the views portrayed by the characters in this tale.**

**Disclaimer:** Clearly this does not belong to me. Nor should this tale be regarded as historically accurate. This is Hetalia universe after all…  
**Author's Notes: **This tale was written for Hoshira/Doitsu's Storyteller.

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**III**

Germany called her _Kitten_ in jest, a nickname for his _pet_ as his colleagues would say. The pet name given was far kinder than the other crass terms used to describe their unsuspecting host.

In many ways she lived up to the name, Katyusha was playful, gentle and innocent in ways he never would have imagined.

To his amusement Ukraine remained oblivious to the fact, the very children she loved were being killed. She sensed their pain and knew their suffering but could not connect or piece together the fact that it was her _saviour_ who was responsible for it all.

Her gratitude and interest in his well-being was as annoying, as it was entertaining. In many ways she reminded him of Italy, yet she was nothing like the young man called friend. She was strong, courageous and had more common sense than Germany had ever seen in the little Italian. He wondered if her sister, the elusive Belarus, was just as naïve as Ukraine or if she, like Russia, was far more aware of the truth than she let on.

"You have told me so much about your children and of your home, yet you never speak of your family; your siblings," he purred.

"Alright, what do you wish to know?"

"Everything you wish to share."

Katyusha spoke of all knew with wide eyes and a hopeful smile. Side by side, they watched the sun descend over the sea of grass.

Little did Ukraine know that she had become the harbinger of her family's demise.


	4. Chapter 4

**Warnings**: **This tale is rated M due to issues of racism (tale is written from Nazi!Germany perspective). I neither support nor condone the views portrayed by the characters in this tale.**

**Disclaimer:** Clearly this does not belong to me. Nor should this tale be regarded as historically accurate. This is Hetalia universe after all…  
**Author's Notes: **This tale was written for Hoshira/Doitsu's Storyteller.

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**IV**

The hunt never ceased to excite Germany. The more cunning and devious his prey was, the greater the thrill of his victory. Every nation he sought to claim as his own resisted, but in the end they all succumbed. What Germany wanted, Germany always got.

Ukraine was no different, yet she was nothing like her predecessors. She was many things; predictable was not one of them.

Her lips tasted of strawberries and the rich wine she had enjoyed during their dinner together. What Katyusha lacked in experience, she more than made up in desire. It was not the first time Germany was caught off guard by her inexplicable actions; he knew it would not be the last. Though experienced as he was, Ludwig had never been kissed.

Attraction had always been about the hunt, conquering and dominating his prey. Germany could not be bothered with petty gestures of affection. He always took what he wanted from his unwilling _lovers _and left little, if anything, in his wake.

Katyusha drew back suddenly apologetic and shy; her cheeks grew rosy. Stunned by her actions Ludwig could only at her in disbelief. He had always been the one who controlled the direction of his relationships, until now.

Swiftly collecting his thoughts and burying his wounded pride Ludwig reminded himself that he was Germany and she was merely a Slavic, a Bolshevik no less! Ukraine belonged to him, not the other way around and he would be damned if he fell prey to her wiles.

With a wolfish grin Germany grabbed Katyusha by the arms before kissing her mouth with all the desire and ferocity he bore for her. With a gasp of surprise, Ukraine readily returned his kiss as her hands caressed the cross he wore at his throat.

Blasphemy had never been more inviting.


	5. Chapter 5

**Warnings**: **This tale is rated M due to issues of racism (tale is written from Nazi!Germany perspective). I neither support nor condone the views portrayed by the characters in this tale.**

**Disclaimer:** Clearly this does not belong to me. Nor should this tale be regarded as historically accurate. This is Hetalia universe after all…  
**Author's Notes: **This tale was written for Hoshira/Doitsu's Storyteller.

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**V**

Ukraine proudly wore Germany's Iron Cross on her throat. It was a gift she would happily explain to anyone brave enough or foolish enough to ask. Germany had given the prized medal, hung on a silver chain, to her the morning after they had slept together. The necklace was not a gift, rather a reminder and a warning. Ukraine's chains belonged to Germany and not even her brother, Russia could stop it.

Upon presenting the medal to the young woman, he firmly instructed that she wear it at all times; Ukraine complied with his order without hesitation or reservation.

Her eyes shone with unshed tears as she graciously thanked him with a kiss before asking his assistance as she gingerly placed the necklace upon her throat. With a joyous smile on her lips, Ukraine spoke of their future and the future of their children.

If Ludwig were capable of guilt, he would have felt it then. His boss had long since absolved Germany of such petty emotions leaving him only to feel amusement at Katyusha's foolish fantasies. He had a mission to complete and he was not about to let a pretty face detour him from it, certainly not one who was inferior to his Aryan blood.

Ukraine's children once so proud of their mother now refused to look her in the eye. There were whispers of a resistance factions preparing for action, while the rumblings of the Red Army could be heard from the east. The bodies were piling up and the evidence was becoming increasingly difficult to hide. It would only be a matter of time before Katyusha would learn the behind her _angel's_ façade.

Until then, Germany was content to continue playing house with his pet kitten.


	6. Chapter 6

**Warnings**: **This tale is rated M due to issues of racism (tale is written from Nazi!Germany perspective). I neither support nor condone the views portrayed by the characters in this tale.**

**Disclaimer:** Clearly this does not belong to me. Nor should this tale be regarded as historically accurate. This is Hetalia universe after all…  
**Author's Notes: **This tale was written for Hoshira/Doitsu's Storyteller.

* * *

**VI**

Germany was hardly surprised to receive the brisk, if not direct, message from his boss. Ludwig's presence was required back home immediately, he knew better than to ask why.

He had expected Ukraine to weep, to show her usual display of over dramatic emotions when he announced that he had to depart. Only the unshed tears that shone in Ukraine's blue eyes, and the slight waver in her sad smile gave away her sorrow. Katyusha for all of her weaknesses had grown stronger than Germany could have ever imagined. She had come a long way since their paths first crossed. Gone was the weak, tearful host in its place was a woman worthy of his attention.

Ludwig knew he was directly responsible for his kitten's transformation, yet it gave him no joy.

"I have something for you," she began, while he buttoned his black trench coat and slipped on his leather gloves.

"Indeed," he said in distracted tones. His thoughts were torn between the brisk letter received, the pale form of Belarus whom he had broken mere days ago and the increasingly violent encounters with Russia's Red Army. They were at a stand still yet Germany refused to believe the war could ever turn against his favour.

Ukraine approached like a lithe feline. Calloused fingers slipped over his own hands causing Germany to pause in mid-action. Blue eyes met blue eyes and for a moment time stood still. Not a word was spoken as she slipped a small hand sewn kerchief into his hands. The crimson red material was smooth to touch, and embroidered at the bottom right corner with black thread was the initials D.L.

There were no exclamations of love, any parting words or last minute demands for answers; there was only peaceful silence as she closed his fingers around the simple, yet elegant handkerchief.

It was not the first gift Germany had ever received, but it was one he would never forget. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Warnings: This tale is rated M due to issues of racism, as the tale is written from Nazi!Germany perspective.**

**Be noted I neither support nor condone the views expressed by the characters in this tale.**

**Disclaimer:** Clearly this does not belong to me. Nor should this tale be regarded as historically accurate. This is Hetalia universe after all…

**Author's Notes:** This tale was written for Hoshira/Doitsu's Storyteller.

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**VII**

"Now that you've finished playing house with your little whore, it is time to secure your territory and remove your pet from power."

Germany bristled to the insult that was directed at him. He was more than aware of the man's own hypocrisy. The henchmen of Ludwig's boss claimed they were worthy members of a superior race but in reality, they were no different from him.

"I believe her presence is still of use to us."

The words fell from the nation's mouth before he could catch them. The man's normally stoic expression briefly faltered as he raised a brow. Even Germany was caught off guard by his own words. He was not a man who ever challenged his masters.

"Really?"

The man asked. Germany chose to ignore the man's obvious sarcasms and continued.

"Ms. Ukraine has been most cooperative in providing us with information on Belarus and even Russia himself."

He could see in the man's eyes that he was neither deterred, nor impressed by his explanation. The henchmen's stoic features barely contained his disgust.

"You do realize that fraternizing with these people compromises your position, both as a country and as the embodiment of the pure _Aryan."_

Ludwig said nothing as he frowned. While he respected and looked up to his boss Germany could not say the same of his compatriots. He would not back down without a fight.

"What will you have me do? Our mission objectives have been fulfilled and the preparations for Lebensraum are well underway," Germany retorted.

"We are ridding ourselves of the Bolshevik threat in the east and are purifying Ukraine as discussed. Operation Barbarossa continues to be a resounding success; it will only be a matter of weeks before Russia will be under out feet.

"Whether you like it or not we owe much of our victories in Russia to Ukraine's loyalty and Intel."

The elderly man fell silent for a moment as he took in Germany's words. His expression belied none of his true thoughts, only his eyes revealed the truth. Pushing his spectacles further up on the bridge of his nose the henchman spoke.

"Whether you like it or not Ludwig your behaviour as of recent has raised questions in certain circles.

"I hate to think that the embodiment of the German people has strayed. Not only would it bad for moral but it would be downright scandalous. What would the Fuhrer think if he knew?"

The implication hit Germany harder than he cared to admit and his spirit sank at the thought of disappointing his mentor. Surely, the Fuhrer knew him better than that!

"I did what was necessary to acquire the information we needed to further our missions," he retorted. The argument sounded weak even to his own ears.

"I can think of many ways to acquire such intelligence that doesn't require defiling yourself in the process."

Germany's cheeks burned as he struggled to contain his rage. Nonetheless, he was silenced before he even had a chance to defend himself.

The henchman's orders were clear and left no room for further argument. Ludwig had a mission to complete, one that was imperative to the survival of his children or so he believed. He had failed his children once before, he would not fail them again.

As he stepped into his vehicle Germany forced himself to clear his thoughts and calm his troubled mind. Only then did he register the red handmade kerchief clutched tightly between his gloved fingers; he had held it throughout the entire meeting.


	8. Chapter 8

**Warnings: This tale is rated M due to issues of racism, as the tale is written from Nazi!Germany perspective.**

**Be noted I neither support nor condone the views expressed by the characters in this tale.**

**Disclaimer:** Clearly this does not belong to me. Nor should this tale be regarded as historically accurate. This is Hetalia universe after all…

**Author's Notes:** This tale was written for Hoshira/Doitsu's Storyteller.

* * *

**VIII**

The moonlight shone through the windows of her room casting a soft glow against Ukraine's porcelain skin, while her hair crowned her head like a halo. She wore nothing save Germany's Iron Cross that hung from a silver chain around her throat. Her body, lithe and perfect, arched back as she moaned her pleasure; completing the silhouette of the beautiful angel or a goddess of mercy.

It was not the first time they had succumbed to their passions but Germany was certain it would be their last. His return to Ukraine's home had been sombre, quiet and without the usual eager sense of anticipation or joy. The tension was thick and Ukraine's silence spoke volumes. In her eyes, Ludwig saw awareness, the truth that Katyusha had denied herself for so long. Yet she spoke not a word of the horrors her children, even now, endured.

Calloused fingers gently removed his leather gloves and the heavy leather trench coat he wore. Her blue eyes never once wavered as she took his hands into her own.

"It has been a long journey. Rest, for who can say what tomorrow will bring."

Her cryptic words were shortly forgotten as the young woman took his hands into her own. Not another word was spoken as she guided him back to her bedchambers.

Through the haze of lust and desire, Ludwig realized he would miss living Ukraine's fairytale dreams of their future. No woman had ever really accepted much less desired him for who he was before. It felt so good to see the unabashed lust and hunger in Ukraine's eyes; to know he was being enjoyed, that he was her pleasure.

This night however, was not about Passion play, lust, desire or the strange emotions that haunted him; it was about sacrifice.

Ukraine's blue eyes watched him closely as their bodies intertwined. Even the passions of the moment could not erase the deeply rooted sorrow that swam in her gaze. Ukraine knew she had betrayed her siblings and was now being betrayed by her lover, to Germany's surprise, she remained in his arms.

For the first time Ludwig was unable to maintain her gaze, though he could not acknowledge why.

He tried to remind himself that the future of his children depended upon his mission, not even _she_ could stop him from achieving his goals. Katyusha's dreams of their future was his to build, to control and ultimately to destroy.

Between passionate kisses, she whispered his name and suddenly all coherent thought slipped away. Closing his eyes Germany smiled as he succumbed to Ukraine's passions and hopeful dreams one last time.

Regret never looked more beautiful; guilt never felt so good.


	9. Chapter 9

**Warnings: This tale is rated M due to issues of racism, as the tale is written from Nazi!Germany perspective.**

**Be noted I neither support nor condone the views expressed by the characters in this tale.**

**Disclaimer:** Clearly this does not belong to me. Nor should this tale be regarded as historically accurate. This is Hetalia universe after all…

**Author's Notes:** This tale was written for Hoshira/Doitsu's Storyteller.

* * *

**IX**

The dagger Germany used on Ukraine was a fine specimen; folded many times to ensure its strength and constructed by the most skilled of hands. The weapon had been a gift, given by none other than the Reich Fuhrer of the SS himself. The blade had once been his most prized possessions, now it was nothing more than a means to an end.

The memory of her absence upon his awakening and the sight of his Iron Cross resting neatly on her night table were fresh in his mind. Germany anticipated her response, but not the strange twinge of hurt felt to it.

He found her working with her people in the gardens of her home. Germany acted quickly as he attacked her from behind. In a fluid motion, he pierced the young woman's flesh, cutting deep and twisting the blade. She neither screamed, nor cried out to the attack.

_Stabbing her in the back; a cowards resolve. _

Germany could almost hear Prussia's voice mocking him for his actions as he swiftly removed the blade. Ukraine drew a sharp gasp of breath in response but she showed no further weakness. Leaning in, Ludwig whispered in her ear the only farewell he knew to express.

"It is done."

"It really has come to this," she breathed in resignation as she turned to face him.

Katyusha's eyes filled with unshed tears as beads of blood began to collect in the corner of her lips. It was all he could do to keep from wiping it away.

"One day you will regret all of this; it may be in a year, or perhaps in many years but one day you will look back on this and you will be shamed."

The petite nation coughed into her hands, leaving her fingers stained crimson.

"When that day comes Germany, I will forgive you, but not today."

Ukraine initiated the battle much to Germany's surprise. Ludwig knew his Kitten had claws, he never imagined she knew how to use them.

The pitchfork was hardly a viable weapon by any stretch of the imagination, but Germany promptly learned even common farming tools could be deadly when placed in the right hands.

Katyusha struck hard and fast; the forks of her weapon swiftly carved a deep trail across his chest, before nicking his throat.

Caught off guard by the ferocity of her attack and the growing doubts that nagged at his thoughts Ludwig lost himself to his rage. He returned her attack without reservation, and fought with a vengeance normally reserved for France and the Diaspora who once called his house home.

Ukraine for all of her fire and determination was no soldier. Her lack of weaponry did little to turn the tide to her favour. Despite her vicious attacks, she stood little chance against Germany's powerful attacks. Battered and severely beaten she continued to fight the losing battle, a last desperate attempt to protect her people from their captors.

In another time, another place Germany would have been impressed by Ukraine's tenacity. Now all he felt was disgust, whether it was towards her or himself Ludwig could not say.

Confident that he had fulfilled his mission Germany decided it was time to end their spar and the games. With a curse and a bitter smirk, he slammed the barrel of his Lugar against the bridge of Ukraine's already broken nose causing her to lose consciousness.

He never forgot the sound of metal meeting flesh, neither the sight of his former lover's body falling limp onto the bloodstained mud.

"Detain this whore and interrogate her for any further information you may find on the resistance forces. I have other business to attend."

With his final instructions, Germany departed for home. There was no joy in his triumphant victory, only emptiness and the nagging sense that he had destroyed the best part of himself.


	10. Chapter 10

**Warnings: This tale is rated M due to issues of racism, as the tale is written from Nazi!Germany perspective.**

**Be noted I neither support nor condone the views expressed by the characters in this tale.**

**Disclaimer:** Clearly this does not belong to me. Nor should this tale be regarded as historically accurate. This is Hetalia universe after all…

**Author's Notes:** This tale was written for Hoshira/Doitsu's Storyteller.

* * *

**X**

It had been fifty years since the death of his former mentor and old boss. Fifty years since the haze of hatred or racism had clouded his thoughts, about as long since his lust for vengeance had consumed him.

Ludwig was not the man he used to be, but he could not deny that man was still a part of him. It was easier for the other nations to segregate Nazi Germany versus Germany as though he were two separate entities as opposed to being one nation, if only it were so simple. By dividing his persona into two, the countries were able to accept Germany back into their lives, both as a fellow nation and as an ally. Ludwig had long since come to terms with their denial, even if it bothered him to no end.

It also reminded him of how much he still missed Katyusha. Even during the height of the Third Reich Ludwig had secretly dreamed of their future. Ukraine always knew he was as much a monster as he was a man, yet she still loved him.

Fifty years of public shame, self-loathing and regrets had taken its toll and left its mark. Ludwig could not recall a time when he was not so driven by his crimes and the need to atone for them. Some times, he missed the days when the world was simple and he was naïve. Then he would recall the lifeless forms of his children; glossy eyes and empty shells staring at him in accusation or Ukraine's broken battered form lifeless on the floor of a filthy cell and the guilt would readily return.

He could still remember her once beautiful blue eyes, bloodshot and dim, staring at him with silent compassion. It was the memory of her eyes that brought Ludwig back to Babi Yar year after year.

All the evidence of the massive graves was lost now; only rolling hills and tall trees remained where the bodies of women, men and children had been haphazardly dumped.

Germany knew the truth and knew that Ukraine would never forget it either. He visited these hidden memorials to remind himself of the monster he was and the man he wanted to become. It kept him honest, and it kept him humble, more so than he would like to admit.

A part of him feared the day Katyusha would find him here, a greater part of him hoped that one day she would. If only so he could finally confess that she had been right all along, and to apologize, not through words, rather through action.

The sound of soft footsteps sifting through the grass drew Germany out of his reverie. He already knew whom it was approaching. Ukraine joined his side, but spoke not a word. In silence, they stood watching as the setting sun filled the twilight sky with purples, oranges, reds and blues.

There was so much needed to be said, even more that could never be expressed in words. She slipped her calloused fingers into his smooth hands and gave them a gentle squeeze of assurance. Germany saw no judgment in Ukraine's eyes and it gave him the strength to speak.

"Prussia warned me of the Fuhrer, but I did not listen. He promised me power, vengeance and a future. I wanted it so badly that I believed whatever he told me. I wanted his dream to become a reality; I wanted to be a powerful empire, to be the mighty Third Reich he said I was meant to be. He knew my pain my need for revenge, I wanted the allies to suffer and he gave it to me, that and so much more."

Ludwig fell silent as he debated whether to continue. Katyusha studied him intently and in that moment, he knew he had little choice but to speak further. She deserved an explanation, or at the very least, the truth.

"Prussian believes the Fuhrer used my despair to his advantage. The truth is I used his insecurities to my advantage. I used the rules to have my vengeance, and then hid behind them when I realized what I had become.

"I enjoyed the suffering of others, watching them fall and tremble beneath my hands. I enjoyed it all-then I met you and everything changed."

Germany had little experience when it came to apologies, though it was more than overdo he struggled to find the right words to express his guilt to Ukraine.

"Years ago you gave me a warning and made me a promise. The warning has come to pass just as you had predicted-"

"Now will you come through on your promise?" The words were far softer and more pleading than Germany would have liked.

Katyusha held his gaze as a sad smile crept onto her lips.

"I have long since forgiven you Germany.

"Now it is time for you to learn how to forgive yourself."

Torn between joy and uncertainty Ludwig briefly fell silent.

"I don't think I know how," he finally admitted in soft tones. Katyusha simply nodded in reply. Rising on the tips of her toes she kissed his cheek before whispering into his ear.

"Then let me teach you."

Closing his eyes, he felt her arms wrap around his waist as she drew near to him. All around them the tall grass swayed in the wind, while the night air was filled with the songs of the night birds. This place, once so filled with death, now teamed with life. As Ludwig met Katyusha's gaze he knew that one day, he too would learn to live again.

Slipping his arms around Ukraine's petite form, Germany smiled for the first time in many years.

**END.**


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